The Badgers' Greatest Foe
It's a well known fact that the badgers' natural enemy is the scientologist.
The precise reason for this is shrouded in myth and goes back to the beginning of time, at some point during the 1950s when L. Ron Hubbard was viciously savaged by a herd of flying badgers off the coast of California. Ever since then, all Scientologists have shunned badgers at every oppurtunity.
The total absence of badgers in the films of many of the Scientologist actors is surely proof of their disdain. Can you think of any badgers in any of the films of Tom Cruise, John Travolta or other famous
Of course, I mention this because Wednesday is movie night for the badgers. It's a shame really, if they could get past the instinctive drive to viciously destroy any likeness of a Scientologist - they'd probably quite enjoy Top Gun, if only because they find homosexuality in the armed forces funny and baffling.
Badgers - much like sock puppets - don't really have a gender, so homosexuality in their armed forces is a non-issue. In any event, it's strange badgers can intuitively tell if someone is a Scientologist or not. We're currently trying to create badgers that can sniff out and eliminate awful Canadian singers and their fans. Celine Dion being the obvious target.
The precise reason for this is shrouded in myth and goes back to the beginning of time, at some point during the 1950s when L. Ron Hubbard was viciously savaged by a herd of flying badgers off the coast of California. Ever since then, all Scientologists have shunned badgers at every oppurtunity.
The total absence of badgers in the films of many of the Scientologist actors is surely proof of their disdain. Can you think of any badgers in any of the films of Tom Cruise, John Travolta or other famous
Of course, I mention this because Wednesday is movie night for the badgers. It's a shame really, if they could get past the instinctive drive to viciously destroy any likeness of a Scientologist - they'd probably quite enjoy Top Gun, if only because they find homosexuality in the armed forces funny and baffling.
Badgers - much like sock puppets - don't really have a gender, so homosexuality in their armed forces is a non-issue. In any event, it's strange badgers can intuitively tell if someone is a Scientologist or not. We're currently trying to create badgers that can sniff out and eliminate awful Canadian singers and their fans. Celine Dion being the obvious target.
posted by Prophet Tenebrae at 4:19 pm
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