Bagdergedon

Chernobyl? That wasn't the Commies, that was badgers.

Well, actually. As with all things badger - it's more complicated than that. Soviet badger technicians recognised that uranium type badgers put in a lead lined kettle could be used to heat water to boiling point much more easily than your average uranium rods. Naturally, being Soviets they didn't tell anyone working there and they pushed those badgers hard.

And over-excited uranium badgers moved toward the centre of the reactor, where they reached critical mass and exploded with a force of seven kilo-badgers. This is why uranium badgers are generally solitary beasts... in fact, between larger uranium badgers even the act of mating can be wrought with fissionable dangers.

This is actually the reason the Confederacy lost the American Civil war. Badger mating season near several of their army camps, causing thousands of deaths and countless papercuts.

Tune in tomorrow to learn how badgers led to the death of Julius Caesar.